Have you noticed that there's been quite a bit of discussion about sexual issues on the frum blogs lately? Bas Torah, Shomer Negiah Girl, BP Yingerman, the pre-marital sex forum at Ohel Nechama, Mayim Rabim, etc.
I personally have no problem with it, but I can understand that many people would consider such open and frank discussion of sexual issues to be inappropriate. Especially when the discussion explores some particular sexual topics that are not as "educationally redeeming" as others may be. But overall I think it's not a big deal and since people evidently don't have an outlet for discussing it in private, this is at least better than nothing.
One particular blogger, who bills himself as a "chassidisher yingerman from Boro Park", tends to focus quite a bit on these topics. Recently, he started off a post with a fairly sensible question worth exploring and in his answer ended up sharing with us all something that can only be described as incredibly titillating erotic literature. Now, I'm all for the right of any person to say what he wants on his own blog, but I can't help but wonder, what the hell is going on here?!
It just doesn't make any sense to me that a normal person with a healthy relationship with his wife will share intimate details of their life together with the whole world! Especially a frum person! Judging from his past posts, he doesn't consider himself a secretly rebellious frummie that's just dying to get out there and do "kol davur assur". He unambiguously states that he's crazy in love with his wife. So what can account for this incredibly inappropriate gesture of his?
My guess? The Black & White Principle.
I don't know this guy personally, so I can't really be sure if this is what's going on with him, but over the years I've seen similar sort of behavior in many other people. Shtreimel wrote about a related incident some time ago.
You see, in the frum world, people generally don't talk about sex at all. If the topic is ever raised, it's either 1) in the context of a halachic issue, 2) in a counseling or therapy situation, or 3) between husband and wife behind very closed doors.
Such frank topics as preferable positions, toys, masturbation, oral, birth control, sex education, etc. are never talked about with the casualness that one sees in the non-frum world where countless magazines have sex advice, people often ask their close friends for advice in these areas, and TV shows joke about the topics (Seinfeld: "The Contest", "Shrinkage", "Spongeworthy").
So when a person who comes from a world that has no talk of sex whatsoever discovers people who are openly discussing all aspects of the subject, he doesn't understand that just because people are talking about sex does not mean that anything goes. That there is such a thing as appropriate sex talk and inappropriate sex talk. To him, it's simply a matter of everything that was forbidden before is now permitted! So he just lets loose with every bawdy idea and image he has bottled up inside himself. This is why it's not at all uncommon to see a person who, as soon as he discovers an individual who is open about discussing sex, will start making really crude and vulgar jokes. Or asking all sorts of intrusive and insensitive questions. Or as in the example of the above blogger, will freely segue from an informative inquiry about how to prepare oneself on mikvah night to the explicit details of his wife's orgasms.
After all, when you live in a black and white world, it's all or nothing.