Thursday, August 06, 2009

The Hedyot Revealed

I've noticed that here is quite a bit of talk on the interwebs lately about how it can be proven from the bible that Barack Obama is Satan, or alternatively that he is the Messiah, or alternatively that he is the President of the United States (this has yet to be adequately proven according to many people). I have nothing to add to these useless prognostications, as I only concern myself here with matters of real importance.

However, once we're on the topic of finding hidden messages buried in words, I'll mention that one astute reader pointed out in the comments to my last post, that the pseudonym I used for my fake article, Shaya Oddet, was actually an anagram of Daas Hedyot.

Yes, it's cute, but it's not really anything special. Anyone who's learned a little ba'al haturim should be able to could come up with something like that. But aside from useless fake names, there are actually far deeper secrets hidden in the depths of this blogger's identity. Yes, indeed.

Probe a little deeper, look closer at the sacred glyphs of the Latin alphabet, rearrange the letters some more, and you can find an answer to one of life's deepest mysteries...

Daas Hedyot = Sod haYated!

Yes, it's true! I am the secret, the deep, inner, hidden part of the Yated! All this time, my chareidi readers considered me to be an enemy of their worldview, but finally my true purpose can be revealed! I am the real source of all chareidi propaganda. Somehow though, by the time my eternal truths reach the Yated editors they get all mangled up and distorted and turned into the boneheaded drivel they call chareidi journalism. But now you know from whence their power derives. And that's why you should drop that paper and only read this blog instead.

Naturally, people will find this claim to be entirely preposterous. The Hedyot has lost it, they'll insist. Delusions of grandeur, and such. I understand their ambivalence. My friends, you don't have to believe me. Trust me, I did not ask for this responsibility. But this is who I am, and there is no denying it. The letters do not lie. I am the source, the very foundation of all knowledge. Like all eternal truths, if you believe in it enough, it shall be revealed, and revealed it has been. If you rearrange the letters of my name some more, the indisputable proof of my eternal truthiness is revealed to one and all:

Daas Hedyot = Yesod Hadat!



9 comments:

veebee said...

Please don't mock the ba'al haturim in that disgusting manner. He spent an entire night (as the legend goes) writing his mifurish on chumash! It probably took a koifer like you a few weeks at best to come up with this purim torah.
Maybe if you had some da'at torah...

P.S. I heard that the rabbis in Deal were selling some.

e said...

you ain't gonna get any anagrams from my blogger name.

alex said...

You're acting like a demon today, Daas Hedyot.

"Today, a shed."

The Hedyot said...

Alex -

Good one. But I'm sorry to tell you, that you interpreted it incorrectly. Really what it means is that I'm like a furry little cat who is molting.

In the immortal words of Garfield,
"I shed, therefore I am."

:)

alex said...

What I get from reading your blog:

"A Steady 'Doh'!"

Shalmo said...

mommy I wanna see more kofers

maybe I should offer my story for the kofer list...maybe not

1561 said...

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=daas+hedyot&t=1000&a=n

Steg (dos iz nit der šteg) said...

LOL

alex said...

Hey, 1561, or 1156, or 6115, or whoever you REALLY are, you uncovered my trick, rats!